Friday, 7 October 2011

Nip and tuck

I'm not really sure how to write this blog post today.  I'm a little tired from doing 3 births in less than 1 week with another gently brewing in the background, but I have to share my conversation with a doctor who was stitching up my client (lovely birth, small tear).  Or maybe it would be easier to bullet point his comments and leave you to stare in shock or scream at the screen.

  • Women should only have one or two babies, especially if they are planning to have caesareans
  • Women shouldn't get pregnant.  It is an awful thing to be pregnant.
  • My wife and I have one child.  I don't think that she should have any more babies.
  • Midwives don't know how to stitch up vaginal tears very well.  It should be left to doctors.
  • Women's bodies aren't very good at giving birth.  They need our interventions. 
  • That said, one intervention leads to another so don't pretend to do it naturally if you want to let us break your waters.
  • I don't understand why any woman would have more than one child.
  • I'm planning on studying in America for a year so that I can learn to do a tummy tuck at the same time as a caesarean.

My lady, her husband and I all stood open mouthed as he spoke.  I told him that I couldn't wait to see him in a few years and hoped that when I did, he had four children.  We don't think he likes daughters.  Is it wicked to hope he has girl triplets? (The answer to that by the way is, YES, wicked to the daughters)

With my mum and my children (of which I appear to have too many eh Doc?)


  1. I say since he has one child maybe he doesn't need a penis anymore so while he's studying in America maybe he can learn to castrate himself?! How does he know how it feels to be pregnant did he carry their one child? Pregnant with number 4 and he is a fool!

  2. See, that's the thinking and narrowmindedness that needs to change with OB's. Treating women like they're physically helpless, only here to be beautiful (tummy tucks) and that then saying it's our fault when we ask for one mild intervention....I want to scream what Anonymous said about castrating himself.

  3. I don't agree that a woman should only have one child. I just gave birth to twin girls and they are absolutely beautiful and my pregnancy was not complicated! The one thing I will say is now that my two princesses are in this world, my body did take a hit! The one thing I do agree with, is that when you have multiple children ( unless you're a freak of nature ) a tummy tuck is almost ALWAYS a necessity!! Thanks for the post and entertainment!